I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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