she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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