take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
