Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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