Michael Bay diarrhea
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
