Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
