Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
