she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
