UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
