I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
