YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
How naked do you want me to be?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
