Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
