i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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