12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
