The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
