u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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