I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
