Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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