I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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