There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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