i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
