Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
