Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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