she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
