Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
