In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
