I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
