I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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