the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
