There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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