I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
