So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize