I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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