I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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