Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
