Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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