so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize