you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
