we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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