she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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