I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Randomize
