I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
