Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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