either way he was missing a nipple.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
