He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
