Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
