True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
BRING THE BAGELS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
