real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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