you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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