I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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