in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
