Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
