I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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