Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
