sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
