I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
