so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize