Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
