I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
