Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
