Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You took a bar mat shot.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
