Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize