Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I had to cum in my sink.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
