she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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