Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Edward fifth and chaser hands
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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