i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
