The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
