i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
