I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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