omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
