is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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