There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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