If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
