She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize