I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
