If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize