im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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