He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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