Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
