You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
